The Big Bad Bard

The works of Shakespeare bore me half to tears.

Those tales as old as time itself remain

Obtuse and difficult to understand.

His plays consist of witches, princes, seers

Iambic monologging all the same!

Decoded, Shakespeare’s tales are rather bland.

Professors love to quote and knead the bard,

Proclaiming, “Genius! Brilliant! Years beyond

His time!” As students rescue dusty books

From dungeons made of brick and stuffed with lard,

Their hearts congeal; the works of critics fond

Of Shakespeare steal and wrack their brains like crooks.

Despite these crimes, the bard committed worse:

One hundred fifty four in sonnet verse.

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